Biography of Simon Lyall

Quick Version

My name is Simon James Lyall. I am in my mid 30s and live in Auckland, New Zealand. I have lived all my life in New Zealand and was born in Dunedin and lived there, Mosgiel and Timaru until age 17 when my Family moved to Hamilton.

I spent about 9 years in Hamilton where I finished High school and the studied for 3 years at Waikato University. I dropped out of University and worked for 4 years as a baker and factory worker ( and also helping start two failed business and spending a lot of time online ). In early 1998 I moved to Auckland to start a job as a system administrator at ihug and to move in with my partner.


I am currently (Aug 2005) a System Administrator at a large New Zealand telecommunications company[1], previous to this I worked for 6 years for ihug ( ) a medium sized (150,000 customers) ISP in Auckland, New Zealand.

My current job is part of the team that looks after a large email system (several hundred thousand users) , one of the largest websites in New Zealand as well as other services like DNS servers.

I don't

Smoke, drink alcohol, wear makeup, have long hair, do drugs, sleep around, sleep with guys, party, drive, eat corn beef, use Microsoft Operating Systems, speak french (or any other language apart from english), play sports, watch Holmes or reality TV shows, use IRC, sing, dance, have any tattoos or piercings, write poetry, play a musical instrument, like dogs, drink milk, do goth or homie or prep or westie, like heights, keep normal hours, tell jokes, remember jokes, own a gun, wear a walkman, download porn or warez, have a web journal, wear a suit, wear a tie, believe in God, mind my middle name, have any criminal convictions, like shopping, surf, play computer games. [2]

After reading the above, Adam Boileau added "have a life" .

[1] - I've not listed which company I work for since I don't wish to have everything I say in public associated with them.
Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential 
         locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a 
         recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate 
         of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times 
         C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe. 
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one. 
[2] - A few people seem to read this list the wrong way. It's just a list of a few things I don't do that some people I knew (around 2000) did. Some of itis now out of date.